I just had an amazing opportunity to speak at a father daughter banquet or Beauty & Beast Feast. Here are my notes. I’m in the process of cleaning them up and making them readable.
I grew up with a younger brother but no sisters. I had & have plenty of friends who are girls but girls were a foreign world to me.
When we first got married, Brook would have me “tell her like a girl” meaning to gather as many details as possible. I would know that one of my co-workers had a baby, but that was it. Brook wanted name, weight, length, time of birth, hair color, health of baby, health of mother, what hospital, are they breastfeeding, name of the nurse…
She can come into my work and learn more about somebody in a five minute conversation than I know after working with them for five years.
Here are some things I’ve learned being married for almost 22 years and a dad to three daughters:
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Girls are a different breed
I went to pick Kylie up after she had cheered at a basketball game and the car actually smelled better after she got in than before. i played some sports back in high school and i KNOW the car did NOT smell better after i got in after a game.
Two of my three girls are talkers. All three have a lot more words than boys, but two of them could talk your ear off if they really wanted to. It’s actually proven that girls do have more words per day than boys, i just get to live out the proof of that.
Not only do they have more words, they can hold two to three conversations at one time. It’s always interesting when all five of us are the car at one time. The conversations are like a group of roller-coasters all intertwined and related. I just try to keep up… -
Guys protect & cover
In the movie Beauty & the Beast, Belle goes running off to escape the castle, but gets surrounded by vicious wolves. In storms Beast to fight them off and protect Belle.
It’s not that girls can’t fight or defend themselves, it’s what guys were made to do. There is something that God placed inside of us to protect and defend.
In our protecting and defending, we need to protect our girls from our words. Our words matter and set atmospheres for the people in them to grow and thrive or wilt and die. Don’t just think nice things, say them. Tell them they are beautiful and smart and special and your princess!
Guys are also a Father figure here on Earth. We are the representation of the Heavenly Father. (no pressure)
Mordecai took Esther and became her father and raised her and looked out for her.
Esther 2:7 Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This girl, who was also known as Esther, was lovely in form and features, and Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.
Esther 2:10-11 Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had forbidden her to do so. Every day he walked back and forth near the courtyard of the harem to find out how Esther was and what was happening to her.
Just a few more things under this point:
- little things matter - buy them flowers some time, or Valentines
- listen and take genuine interest - we’ve discussed the amount of words, but let them get them out and process. This is huge in self-worth development.
- take them on dates - it doesn’t have to be totally fancy. Take them out for a donut and hot chocolate
Treat them the way you want their future husband to treat them. Set the bar high so they know what to expect. - Girls be sure to be kind & pleasing & ready
Esther 2:9 The girl (Esther) pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven maids selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her maids into the best place in the harem.
Esther could’ve caused huge drama and demanded all the best of everything but she kept it simple. Sometimes i think some girls just go looking for drama for drama’s sake - don’t. There’s already enough drama and stress in the world, we don’t need any more! - Guys help set & uphold their destiny
Esther 4:12-14 When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this? ”
Mordecai had to show a bit of tough love and helped Esther to see her destiny was way beyond her world in the palace. Guys, don’t be afraid to gently push them into all that God has for them.
Isaiah 37-39 are some of the coolest and saddest chapters in the Bible. Hezekiah starts with such faith in impossible circumstances but ends by looking out for only his self but not the future generations.
In today’s world, it’s easy to build our own “kingdom” and make a great life for ourselves, but we also need to think generationaly. There could be doctors or presidents or lawyers or teachers or scientists or world-changers in your house. Look out for them and help them prepare. - Finally, we’re all in this together & doing the best we can.
Keep life simple. Keep the Main thing the main thing, which would be Jesus! A relationship with Him creates an awesome foundation for all other areas of life.
Bear with each other. No one is perfect, we all fall short in some way or another. Let’s help each other and not hold grudges or look down at each other. We all have our issues.
I’m not saying we brush things under the rug and cover major issues that can hurt or do serious physical or emotional damage, but let the small stuff slide. We are all on different lanes but on the same race track going for the same finish line. Let’s run with each other not against each other. Grace is the key.
